Bifflez

Overheard on the metro

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 23:15:42 -0400

WASHINGTON — Recounting a conversation between two silly metro passengers:

WOMAN1: I would have thought people in the South would be more hospitable.

WOMAN2: Are we in the South?

WOMAN1: Of course we are. We’re by Maryland.

Cool invention

Tue, 08 Jul 2008 23:43:40 -0400

WASHINGTON — The nearest target is two floors. Naturally, your first question must be, how do they get the shopping carts up and down the escalators?

Here’s how. So inventive.

On the issues

Mon, 07 Jul 2008 23:40:29 -0400

lindseydalexander: if sara and i got engaged, would you consider that a conflict of interests in the workplace
?
me: hahahahaha
im going to answer this question as if it were serious
lindseydalexander: please do.
me: and i would say
being engaged is no different from being lovers
so no
lindseydalexander: ahahahaha
me: not in terms of newsroom apporpriateness, anyway

...

lindseydalexander: fasho
i should have asked you that at pub board. you would have shined

I hate to be a grammar nazi...

Sun, 06 Jul 2008 18:08:14 -0400

WASHINGTON — OK, maybe I don’t. At least, not when I’m talking down to professionals who make second-grade mistakes like their/they’re/there. And ESPECIALLY not when they do it while making fun of someone else for being “dumb.”

I have this annoying program that pops up on my computer occassionally when I’m online called Real Message Center. I don’t know what it does, or how it got there, and I’ve never clicked on it. But it always has two or three celebrity- or entertainment-related headlines with a link.

One of today’s headlines, accompanied by a picture of Britney Spears, said:

“Comfortably Dumb: These celebs may be hot and rich, but they’re heads are filled with straw.”

"Everybody, take a deep breath."

Sun, 06 Jul 2008 15:53:00 -0400

““Everybody, take a deep breath.””

- Metro security guard, right before she shoves a boy farther into a packed train so that the door will be able to close behind his backpack, an hour after the 4th of July fireworks ended in DC. I did not make it onto that particular train.

It burns carbs. It just burns up all your carbs.

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 20:28:36 -0400

WASHINGTON — So, how long has Lindsay Lohan been a lesbian? Is this common knowledge? I just learned of this yesterday.

BUT, before you all start throwing things at me, you should know that I went out to dinner tonight with four other people, and only one of them knew about it. Zach didn’t either.

Christian Site's Ban on 'G' Word Sends Homosexual to Olympics

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 20:24:50 -0400

Christian Site's Ban on 'G' Word Sends Homosexual to Olympics

WASHINGTON — Track title: “Puberty...

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 20:19:00 -0400

WASHINGTON — Track title: “Puberty Sux.”

About: I was watching TV and one of those zap those zits away commercials came on. It was one of those stupid ones where they animate pimples and dirt and try to make growing up seem cute when its really just a pain. So I wrote a song about having an animated pimple.

Lyrics:

Nothing in my life is going right
I woke up with a pimple last night
I shot up and got out of bed
to find that little fucker on my head.

It was red and had teeth
opened its mouth and said to me
please don’t wash me let me be
so I got soap out from underneath.

I washed my face and went to bed.
Woke up the next day with a zitless head.

Puberty sux!

"That panda does not have very good manners. He is chewing with his mouth open."

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 20:14:56 -0400

““That panda does not have very good manners. He is chewing with his mouth open.””

- Little girl at the zoo. Yes, I still go there at least twice a week

WASHINGTON — One more Sara Amato hit. It’s called...

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 15:44:31 -0400

WASHINGTON — One more Sara Amato hit. It’s called “Fat Girl.”

Background: I had my guitar and I had nothing to write about. Not too sure why I thought of a fat girl but just started singing. Used the only three or four chords I knew and BOOM. There’s the song. This song spawned a follow up. I don’t have it. But it was good.

Oh also, my band name was Tighty Whities. I’ll probably change that. — Sara Amato

I need to think of things to post that don’t have to do with Sara. I mean, posts that revolve around Sara are fine, but I should probably make some that don’t, too. For variety.

WASHINGTON — Another hit from Sara Amato. The lyrics are...

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 19:20:06 -0400

WASHINGTON — Another hit from Sara Amato. The lyrics are below:

Yo yo yo the kit kat bar
they good, they great
if you eat a lot of them you can get a tummy ache
chocolate coverin’ and vanilla wafer inside
if uncle john said he don’t got none then yeah he lied
they crunchy they munchy
i eat em for lunchy
kit kat bar give me a break

WASHINGTON — “Project Bahams.” More coming...

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 20:57:00 -0400

WASHINGTON — “Project Bahams.” More coming soon. A Sara Amato classic.

Background:

“For spring break senior year, all the seniors usually take a vacation to somewhere tropical, mexico or the bahamas. Well my senior year was the bahamas. I wasn’t going but a bunch of girls were like starving themselves and going to the gym three times a day to lose weight for this vacation. So this is a song I wrote in response to this one girl who I just wanted to punch in the face.” — Sara Amato

WASHINGTON — I had no idea Sara was such a celebrity.

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 21:06:14 -0400

WASHINGTON — I had no idea Sara was such a celebrity.

Fly kite/kill fly = whatevs

Sun, 22 Jun 2008 12:51:00 -0400

Sara: im trying to kill a fly in my kitchen
and im failing miserably
me: um did you thnk that would work
Sara: i killed one yesterday
it took like 20 minutes
but i did it
me: how are you even flying the kite indoors
Sara: did u not read what i originally said
cause i made no mention about a kite
me: hahahhahahahahahha oh my god
i thought you said you were trying to fly a kite
this whole time
i thought thats what we were talking about
Sara: i have nothing to say to this.

WASHINGTON — I know you’ve been waiting for this....

Sat, 21 Jun 2008 19:27:18 -0400

WASHINGTON — I know you’ve been waiting for this. It’s Tian-Tian.

Unicorns DO exist

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 20:09:15 -0400

Unicorns DO exist

Crazytown

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 20:08:00 -0400

WASHINGTON — People I have been in the same room with in the last three days:

John Kerry
Sisqo
Larry Craig
Nancy Sinatra
Scott McClellan
Various other artists and senators who are less famous than the ones mentioned above

D.C. is such a weird city. Last night I interviewed Nancy Sinatra, and Sisqo broke out into song while we were waiting for a House hearing.

My worldwide audience?

Mon, 09 Jun 2008 22:58:52 -0400

WASHINGTON — So google allows you to track how many visits you have to your blog, from who, etc.

I just checked on it, and I am actually quite surprised. I am clueless as to who some of these people are. There’s a map of all the cities people are reading my blog from. I thought, MAYBE five people read this. And I know where they all are. That was the plan, too. Here is a list of the cities listed, and my guesses as to who these people are:

SOUTH DAKOTA

Sioux Falls (4) — Brube, duh
Lennox (1) — I’m assuming these other two are Brube traveling or something? Otherwise it doesn’t make sense at all
Gayville (2) — See above

ILLINOIS

Chicago (5) — Dunno. I know a lot of people in Chicago, so it’s not that surprising.
Villa Park (3) — Same as above, except I have no clue who lives in Villa Park. From the map it looks like it basically is Chicago though.

INDIANA

Indianapolis (17) — I’m assuming this is New Palestine also, so me, Allie, Brube, etc
Bloomington (16) — Sara, maybe another person or two. Also probably includes Bedford
Evansville (1) — I am at a loss.

PENNSYLVANIA

Philadelphia (3) — I do not think I know anyone that lives in Philadelphia, or has been there recently. Your guess is as good as mine.

WEST VIRGINIA

Fairmont (3) — OK, I know some of this must be from when I blogged in Morgantown. Maybe Fairmont and Morgantown are right by each other? But that wouldn’t explain why there’s two cities.
Bridgeport (1) — I am beginning to think this tracker does not actually work correctly.

DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA

Washington (2) — This is obvious.

UNITED KINGDOM

London (4) — Duh, Natalie/Lindsey

But there is also no Delaware? I mean, we barely had internet so it’s possible that I never had it up besides the Dashboard, but I don’t know. I was there for a week. I think this thing might be kind of off.

I did not know people did this

Mon, 09 Jun 2008 22:27:03 -0400

WASHINGTON — My roommate (the one I share a room with) is very sweet, but she goes to bed at 7:30 or 8 every night, and wakes up at 5 every morning.

I feel like this will get old very quickly.

Summer of the pandas

Sun, 08 Jun 2008 10:00:34 -0400

WASHINGTON — I live, literally, across the street from the entrance to the national zoo. And it’s free!

I am visiting the pandas every day. That is a promise. I love those guys. I took a video of a panda eating bamboo yesterday, but I forgot my camera cable. Will post as soon as I get it back. It is a great video, I promise.