WASHINGTON — Recounting a conversation between two silly metro passengers:
WOMAN1: I would have thought people in the South would be more hospitable.
WOMAN2: Are we in the South?
WOMAN1: Of course we are. We’re by Maryland.
1 year agoWASHINGTON — The nearest target is two floors. Naturally, your first question must be, how do they get the shopping carts up and down the escalators?
Here’s how. So inventive.
1 year agoWASHINGTON — OK, maybe I don’t. At least, not when I’m talking down to professionals who make second-grade mistakes like their/they’re/there. And ESPECIALLY not when they do it while making fun of someone else for being “dumb.”
I have this annoying program that pops up on my computer occassionally when I’m online called Real Message Center. I don’t know what it does, or how it got there, and I’ve never clicked on it. But it always has two or three celebrity- or entertainment-related headlines with a link.
One of today’s headlines, accompanied by a picture of Britney Spears, said:
“Comfortably Dumb: These celebs may be hot and rich, but they’re heads are filled with straw.”
1 year agoWASHINGTON — So, how long has Lindsay Lohan been a lesbian? Is this common knowledge? I just learned of this yesterday.
BUT, before you all start throwing things at me, you should know that I went out to dinner tonight with four other people, and only one of them knew about it. Zach didn’t either.
1 year agoWASHINGTON — Track title: “Puberty Sux.”
About: I was watching TV and one of those zap those zits away commercials came on. It was one of those stupid ones where they animate pimples and dirt and try to make growing up seem cute when its really just a pain. So I wrote a song about having an animated pimple.
Lyrics:
Nothing in my life is going right
I woke up with a pimple last night
I shot up and got out of bed
to find that little fucker on my head.
It was red and had teeth
opened its mouth and said to me
please don’t wash me let me be
so I got soap out from underneath.
I washed my face and went to bed.
Woke up the next day with a zitless head.
Puberty sux!
WASHINGTON — One more Sara Amato hit. It’s called “Fat Girl.”
Background: I had my guitar and I had nothing to write about. Not too sure why I thought of a fat girl but just started singing. Used the only three or four chords I knew and BOOM. There’s the song. This song spawned a follow up. I don’t have it. But it was good.
Oh also, my band name was Tighty Whities. I’ll probably change that. — Sara Amato
I need to think of things to post that don’t have to do with Sara. I mean, posts that revolve around Sara are fine, but I should probably make some that don’t, too. For variety.
1 year ago